One size does not fit all

If I had a dime for every time someone called me fat

I’d own a strip mall

And house the homeless

If I had a dime for every time I heard “she has such a pretty face”

I’d have enough for a boob job

Then I’d make real money somewhere else with my pretty face and big tits

If I had a dime for every time I was picked last at a school dance

I’d buy a value meal at the nearest drive thru

And cry into my fries

If I had a dime for every time I compared myself to someone else

Las Vegas clubs could come to me for loans

And referrals for plastic surgeons

If I had a dime for every time I lusted after a boy that didn’t like me back

I’d have enough to buy out a large magazine

And write real articles about shit that really matters to young women – build them up instead of destroying their concepts of self with articles about “How to Keep Your Man”

If I had a dime for every time I read the nutritional label and questioned whether it was a “good” or a “bad” food

I’d have enough accumulated funds to give companies like Lean Cuisine a run for their money

The sodium counts on those things are deadly and I’d hardly call it “cuisine”

If I had a dime for every time I cried myself to sleep

I could pay for some much needed therapy I didn’t get

And you wouldn’t be reading this shit