Sunday, November 5, 2017

With great power comes great douchebaggery - op ed


With so much bullshit taking place in the Nation and making the headlines, both real and fake; you have to ask yourselves if any of it surprises you.

I for one am not surprised. I am no more surprised by this shit than I am coming home to find that no one has cleaned my refrigerator for me – that apparently is always my job. I’m not surprised when I reach for the egg nog and there is less than 3 oz. left in the damn container. Not. Fucking. Surprised. So I am not surprised when I read headlines of scandal, embezzlement, cover-ups, tax evasion, killings, sexual misconduct, rape, murder, war crimes etc. That doesn’t mean that I lose hope. The same way that I hope one day I’ll come home and someone will have scrubbed the toilets, cleaned the fridge and made me dinner, I hold out hope that one fine day, humanity will collectively pull our heads out of our shared giant anus.

With great power comes great douchebaggery. That’s what Spider-Man’s Uncle tells him before he kicks the bucket, right? Right before he peacefully passes in his sleep, right? WRONG! Peter Parker’s Uncle was shot. Shot dead in front of a library over a measly bag of money won at a fight. That’s petty bullshit – child’s play. Contemplate what happens as the stakes get higher. Or scale it back first if that helps to put things in perspective.

I started thinking about what happens to my brain when power kicks my ego into gear. I recall my first few days with my new car. For starters:  it’s a piece of shit car, but for me it was new and had Sirius XM and a back-up cam and that made me better than you. Holy fuck, I can only imagine if that bitch had come equipped with heated seats! It doesn’t take much to get me thinking that I am “better than” or entitled. Put me in a group of peers designed to work on a project and assign me the role of team lead then watch the power go directly to my head; it takes mere moments. Don’t fuck around and say you haven’t done the same. It may suck, but we’re human and fallible; these icons and leaders are merely human too. Don’t be surprised when they fuck up; be surprised how they fuck up.

At no point in my life have I ever thought it might be neat to inappropriately assert myself on a minor because “who wouldn’t want this?” There are zero times when I thought that making a profit off the illness of another human being was at all acceptable. There’s a special place in Hell for people of this caliber. The more financial backing you have, the easier it is to get away with this horseshit. That’s what it is – horseshit. Politicians [I said I wouldn’t get political here, so I’ll keep this real brief] must come out of the womb with the innate ability to spew shit from their face-holes and bury it quickly beneath the bodies of the people they’ve sworn to serve. I get that it’s a life that they’ve dedicated themselves to and chosen, but what I need to know is this: how the fuck do you assholes sleep at night?

Is this a nature vs. nurture thing? Let me help explain that a bit more. Were these people always scum sucking assholes and money just nudged them over the edge or were they perhaps good and kind people that money and fame corrupted? The chicken or the egg - which came first? I’ll reiterate: I’m not surprised by any of the shit I hear, see, or read any more. I am merely saddened and surprised at the extent to which my idols and leaders have fallen.  None of this is supposed to be funny or even thought- provoking; it’s simply one crazy woman’s thoughts on a shitty state of affairs. I would like to believe that there are still good people out there that aren’t power whores; people that we can trust to put our best interests first. Hopefully they are kind, compassionate, and steadfast, know where to place the apostrophe, and for the love of God – know the difference between “heal” and “heel.”

Morgan Freeman, if you can hear me: I will seriously lose my shit if you wind up in scandal. I can’t take much more, man. If anyone can give me the answer to the chicken and the egg, please send correspondence to:  rantsandswears@gmail.com

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