I had the misfortune of coming across a song on the radio
last night that brought me back some years. I had never paid attention to how
horrible it was until last night. Alanis Morissette’s “You Oughta Know” isn’t
about empowerment after a breakup. It’s about a woman who refuses to let go. It’s
sad really. The problem, as I see it, is that the song is catchy; you want to
sing along. Young women beat their chests proclaiming: “I’m taking back my
identity! I’m being true to myself! I’m finally being heard!”
No,
you’re being crazy. Let go of shit that no longer serves you. Be a woman of
integrity. Find your happiness in something or someone that returns the effort,
affection, and attention that you give. When it’s done, it’s done. Let it go and try on some personal growth.
There’s
a range of emotion that's to be expected, but for the love of all that's good
in the world, keep that shit in small circles. You look pathetic when you
attempt to sully others publicly. And if you’re going to write a song, let’s
call it what it is. It’s not empowerment, it’s an adolescent attempt to drag
someone through the dirt and gain the sympathy of others.
I’ve
broken down the lyrics to the song below and added my thoughts in purple text.
I want you all to know, that I wish nothing but the best for her. * not passive
aggressive at all. nope. not one bit. *
YOU
OUGHTA KNOW (with remarks by Rants & Swears)
I want you
to know, that I am happy for you
I wish
nothing but the best for you both
Oozing passive-aggressiveness. Wanna try again?
An older
version of me
Is she
perverted like me?
Would she go
down on you in a theater?
Public indecency is highly frowned upon, please be careful. Pee-wee
Herman got in a lot of trouble for this.
Does she
speak eloquently
And would
she have your baby?
I'm sure
she'd make a really excellent mother
'Cause the
love that you gave that we made
Wasn't able
to make it enough for you
To be open
wide, no
Clearly, you opened wide. You still haven’t shut.
And every
time you speak her name
Does she
know how you told me
You'd hold
me until you died
'Til you
died, but you're still alive
Get over yourself sweetheart. We all say sentimental shit no one
is expected to be held to unless you marry up. Weren’t we all going to marry
our first love and grow old together? Remember that bullshit? Yeah, we were
all around 15 when that happened, right? So, by that rationale, we’re all
miserable liars.
And I'm
here, to remind you
Of the mess
you left when you went away
It's not
fair, to deny me
Of the cross
I bear that you gave to me
Wait, you’re bearing a cross now? You’ve made yourself a martyr?
Wow didn’t see that coming. Nope, not at all.
You, you,
you oughta know
You seem
very well, things look peaceful
I'm not
quite as well, I thought you should know
No shit you’re not well. You’re bordering on obsessive, leaning
towards delusional.
Did you
forget about me, Mr. Duplicity?
I hate to
bug you in the middle of dinner
Doubtful. I rather think she enjoys it.
It was a
slap in the face
How quickly
I was replaced
And are you
thinking of me when you fuck her?
Psst…this song was written following her breakup with Dave
Coulier. That’s right, the fluffy dad from Full House whose token line was, “Cut
it out!” Not hunky Stamos or even the comic Saget; just Coulier. What am I
missing? Ultimately, she doesn’t want the answer to her question, “are you
thinking of me when you fuck her?”
Sweetie, if he was thinking of you…he’d still be with you.
'Cause the
love that you gave that we made
Wasn't able
to make it enough for you
To be open
wide, no
And every
time you speak her name
Does she
know how you told me
You'd hold
me until you died
'Til you died,
but you're still alive
Dammit! We’re here again? Bitch, herpes is forever, not your
relationship. Time to move on.
And I'm
here, to remind you
(and all of creation)
Of the mess
you left when you went away
It's not
fair, to deny me
Of the cross
I bear that you gave to me
Seriously, put down the cross, fix your hair and go find some
new dick.
You, you,
you oughta know
'Cause the
joke that you laid in the bed
That was me
and I'm not gonna fade
As soon as
you close your eyes, and you know it
And every
time I scratch my nails
Down someone
else's back I hope you feel it
How do you plan to scratch your nails down someone else’s back
if you continue wailing about this dude? Men don’t like it when you’re hung up
on your ex. Revenge sex only hurts everyone. Heal. Move the fuck on. He’s just
not that into you.
Well, can
you feel it?
And I'm
here, to remind you
Of the mess
you left when you went away
It's not
fair, to deny me
Of the cross
I bear that you gave to me
You, you,
you oughta know
He knows it, your next-door neighbors know it, your grocer
probably knows it too. Your co-workers have began scheming; devising ways to have
you terminated. They’re tired of your shit too. Your pets no longer like you
either. If they could dump you, they would. Face reality: it’s over. You lost.
Stop writing passive-aggressive, bitter misery anthems and move the fuck on!
Spare us all your pathetic call to arms. It’s only Dave Coulier. For fuck’s sake
lady, “Cut it out!”
Fun fact: if you google "angry breakup" images, Alanis Morissette's album cover comes up as #15.
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