Update

So, I got this email the other day. Please feel free to enjoy it as much as I did. (copied from my email)

Hi,

My name is Iris and I'm reaching out to you on behalf of a team of professional content writers. I came across your site, and I wonder if you accept articles from guest writers at all? If so I’d like to offer to contribute an article to your site.

Benefits to your site:

• High quality and fresh content for your site
• Well written and relevant to your audience
• SEO optimised article

If you’re interested, let me know and I can get some content ideas over to you!

Looking forward to hearing from you.

Best wishes,

Iris (and the Content team)

Next, please see my response. Maybe Iris deserves a break, but I'm thinking "not so much." (copied from email)

Iris, 

I'm terribly sorry that you stumbled upon my little excuse for a blog page, that's about 40 mins of your life you'll never get back. As to whether or not I accept work from other writers...

It's clear you haven't spent much time on my page. I have appx 14 people who read my shit. Adding your people to my blog would only do them and their work a disservice. My "audience" consists of my two cats, my boyfriend and my 10 yr. old son - wouldn't want to lose your people/product in all that commotion.Thanks though; awfully human of you to reach out. 

If my "site" starts getting more viewers I'll be sure to keep you in mind. For now, I'd just like to make sure that I'm able make the rent and I'm fortunate enough to have a different flavor of ramen each night. 

Best wishes in your search, 

Me (and my cats) 

I may have come off as ungrateful with Iris, but I assure you, I appreciate all 12 of you. Thanks for your continued reading.