Tuesday, December 18, 2018

Manstruating - short rant

I have questions, many questions. I usually have questions, this is nothing new. I also have concerns. I don't have concerns, I have grievances. Fat-ass grievances that I'm about to lay out for you. 

A friend of mine posted this article [link below] on Facebook; the title caught my attention. 

Now that you’ve read a paragraph or two and you have a general understanding of the absurdity being sold, we can try to unfuck it all. 

I’m all about being true to yourself or being authentic - if you will, but come the fuck on! This is utter horseshit! The very first paragraph has me wanting to throw pencils at dart boards. All genders can have periods? I must have missed that Bio class. Last time I checked vaginas were the bleeding kind and penises were not. If I'm not mistaken, vaginas usually belong to women and penises to men. Although sometimes men are called penises and women cunts; sometimes men are cunts too. I don't think I've ever called a woman a penis, but I have called one a dick. 

There is apparently a council report [that I would love to get my hands on] stating that: "Trans boys and men and non-binary people may have periods," adding that "menstruation must be inclusive of all genders." 

What does this mean? Does this mean that boys get to be excused to change their tampons during class time? Does it mean that PE will be restricted for them during their "special" time of the month? What the fuck?! Can someone paint me an accurate picture of what boy bleeding looks like; what it entails? According to this article, school counselors will be made available to those children requiring additional support. Additional support for what, phantom cramps? Go fuck yourselves! 

I don't give a shit how it sounds; just because Tommy tucks a maxi pad into his jock strap doesn't' mean he's menstruating. By definition, "menstruation is a cyclical discharging of blood, secretions, and tissue debris from the uterus that recurs in nonpregnant breeding-age primate females at approximately monthly intervals and that is considered to represent a readjustment of the uterus to the nonpregnant state following proliferative changes accompanying the preceding ovulation." When Tommy bleeds from the tip of his dick and his balls cramp up [legitimately] once a month I'll feel sorry for him. Until then, stick to whatever else it is you do that is exclusively yours. 

What's the equivalent of male menstruation? I did some Q&A with my husband last night. We had a good laugh. I had a good laugh, he asked me to stop. I decided that male menstruation would probably look like something being jammed down the shaft of the penis while potato chip bag clips were periodically attached, then removed from the scrotum. The chip clip would cause dull throbbing most of the time but would be removed just long enough to provide brief periods of relief. "That sounds horrible!" you may quibble. Yeah, but I've always wanted to ask him to make me a sandwich while he's bleeding, his back hurts, his [gonads?] hurt, and he just wants to cry at every little thing. Maybe manstruating isn't such a terrible idea. 

I will tell you this: if men were to bleed from their dicks and had ball cramps once a month, I would be much more inclined to give out the courtesy blow job every so often when I was otherwise unavailable or unwilling. Here's to hoping we don't have our cycles sync up. 


  1. When they say "trans men and boys" they mean people who were born girls and have transitioned to become men or boys. Those people very often have uteruses and vaginas and whatnot leftover from being born with them. That's what they're addressing here, that these transgender men (people who have become men) can have periods.

    It absolutely doesn't mean that they're teaching that people born as boys can have periods.

    1. Sooooo....you didn't like the blog? Why not just destigmatize menstruation? There is nothing shameful in menstruating. There is nothing shameful in becoming what you feel you were meant to be; a close member of my family was trans. I think perhaps the aim is off. At the very least, the wording in this article leaves much to be desired.

  2. No anonymous, that is not what it means. It means that boys who have a penis and balls, can have a period. Which is pure bullshit. It means that human beings that have no chance of discharging blood from a vagina, can claim that they are on their period. Extra bullshit for you, no charge. I’ve had it with the transgender cockeyed, no pun intended, warped fantasy delusion. I don’t care if you do cut your pecker off, you’re still a man. That includes your balls as well, removing parts and changing them does not change your DNA code. You can reference it with the gender specific moniker of your choice, but I prefer to just say you either have balls or you don’t. And I’m glad I have the balls to call it like I see it. By the way, my heart bleeds, no pun intended, for women having to endure that lovely event once a month. If I was a woman, I would wish for some kind of switch to turn it off. For example, if I was a woman and knew that I didn’t want to have children, can I please turn this off? I don’t want to get pregnant and I don’t want to go through the menstrual cycle every month. Maybe next we can talk about male menopause, I’m assuming that I’ve gone through it because I’m 59 years old, but I have no tale of woe concerning hot flashes and other discomforts/issues that usually accompany it when it comes to the opposite sex. I extend my sympathies to sufferers of both biological pains in the ass, or vagina if you will.